Nicole Grey (foenix) wrote,
Nicole Grey

So, yeah

I've not talked here in forever, not much more besides comics posts and Trisk links.

It's been a rough year.  I mentioned back in April my dad's failing health, and he eventually came home for a bit, and was doing okay.  Good days and bad.  Getting back to driving helped him a bit, it gave him stuff to do.  But I also wonder if being able to do more lmade it too easy to push his failing heart and lungs too much, too soon.

He wasn't doing bad though, until the last few weeks.  Specifically, yesterday, when he said for a few moments, he felt like he couldn't breath.  He took it easy, I could see he was better already, but even he could tell how weak he was.

He said if he still felt this way, he'd call the doctor this morning, and we'd go from there.  He still felt weak, but felt better, to the point that I woke up and he'd done more laundry.  In retrospect, also probably didn't help.

Still, he seemed improved, and he just kinda lounged around and took it easy.  As the evening came down though, he wasn't doing much, was pretty weak, but still didn't want to call anyone, just relax and go to bed eventually.

I sat down to eat dinner, he let out a groan, and an "oooh god" amidst his now-usual coughing and wheezing, but that wasn't abnormal.  He lets out that exact grunt whenever he stretches.

But as I finished eating, it kinda dawned on me that he was being REALLY quiet.  Not even the occasional cough or wheezy breathing.  I poked him, and was pretty sure...well, you've probably figured out where this is going by now.

My father passed away around 8:45.  When he would normally get up and head to bed, only his spirit got up instead.

He did not seem in any pain, only frustration at feeling so weak, so I can take some solace that he basically slowly breathed his way out.  And he got to pass away in his home, in his chair, and I hope he liked what we were watching before he passed, for however long he was paying attention.

Now comes me being in a panic in what my future holds.


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