July 2nd, 2013

Cooold

Parental Misguidance

So, my real parents came up in conversation today.  Not even with me in the conversation, just being talked about in the background.

For those who don't know, my biological mother died giving birth to me, and my biological father just couldn't handle the seven kids he now had on his own, so most of my true siblings went with one family that went elsewhere, and I ended up being taken in by my aunt and uncle.

And my parents, because that is what they are to me, were discussing this today, and da blurts out, "They probably didn't take him because he wasn't normal."

Now, I know intellectually he means because of the few birth defects I was born with, they didn't want to deal with the hospital bills and such, but hearing that?  Even now, at my age?

When I pretty much already deal with issues of my own personal self-worth on a daily basis?  Hearing that you were unwanted for not being normal??

Yeah, this has been gnawing away at me all day.

J
Mother

On the Other Hand

But then, there IS the flip side of the story, which I must remember, as my mom tells it, where she looked at the newborn me and said, "I want to take him home with me."

...Of course, then I realise this is exactly, and I mean *exactly* the same thing she says when she walks into an animal shelter and brings a cat home. ;D

She said it today, and I realised I'd heard that phrase before, and it clicked that she has always had a thing for bringing the strays home. ;)

J