July 27th, 2003

Phoenix

A Little Fun

Shamelessly swiped from SilverBulletComicbooks.com's All the Rage column.

J

Apparently Grant Morrison�s new move to DC hasn�t gone as smoothly as he�d like. I�m told that Marvel Editor in Chief Joe Quesada was so pissed at Grant Morrison for signing an exclusive contract with the distinguished competition that he cornered him at the San Diego ComicCon and bitched him out. The encounter supposedly left Morrison comatose.

Here now is some completely make-believe dialogue between Joe and Grant based on said rumor:

Quesada: How in the hell can you leave me and Bill for AOL Comics!! What the $%#@ is wrong with you, Morrison?

Morrison (trapped in dark corner): Joe, I just.. it�s Superman.. they want me to.. they told..

Quesada (through gritted teeth): I don�t give a good God damn who said what, or who told who or who did who, you write New X-Men for $%#@�s sake. New-Freakin�-X-Men!! You tell those bitches the contract is a no go and that you love Marvel!

Morrison: I..I can�t. I already signed the contract.. and..

Quesada: Oh, you�ve gone and done it now. You just screwed the greatest comic book company in the world, pal! We gave you the X-Men, we allowed you to write Marvel Boy and $%#@ with the Fantastic Four, hell we even gave you that Cyclops bobble-head doll. How do you repay our kindness? Our friendship? You go and take the first train to Smallville!?

Morrison (slipping into coma): I.. I..

Quesada: You know what this means, right? It means Bill will probably take over as writer on New X-Men. He�s already talking about modeling the book after the Brady Bunch, for %$&@ sake!!

I can�t believe you�re gonna punk out on me and put me in this position! Are you listening to me, Morrison? That Felicia chick is going to be right about everything!

Morrison (Passes out): ...

Quesada (Rifles through Grant�s pockets, looking for contract): Sunova.. okay, be cool Joe. The contract�s not here. Just go back to the Marvel booth, calm down.. damn it all, there is no Marvel booth!

This Has A �Grant Morrison Resuscitation Needed On Ground Level� Factor of Two Out of Ten