Nicole Grey (foenix) wrote,
Nicole Grey
foenix

Sleep Now

Augh.

Anyone following my Twitter, seeing me on IRC (Which not enough of you do!), or paying enough attention, know I've been having some nasty sleep related issues lately.

To get into more detail, and those just catching up, for the past month I've gone to bed at my normal time around noonish, and then proceed to lay in bed for hours.  Which kinda sucks when you get up around 5:30.  A few days I haven't passed out until 4.  I've at least managed to grab naps at night so I'm not about to kill myself, but I've come close, it feels on some days.

I've got a number of reasons why this is happening, but to keep it simple, I've fallen into a bad cycle.  I don't get much sleep, take a nap, which makes me not need as much sleep when I *want* to get it.  And then when my head hits the pillow I end up keeping myself awake...by my damned brain buzzing and wondering why I'm staying awake, and wondering when it will stop.  I am my own worst enemy, yes.

I kept thinking if I could just skip the nap, I could get exhausted enough to pass out normally, but wanted to have a few hours more sleep than what I was getting to not try and stay up for way too many hours on two hours of sleep.  Which of course means last night?  I did exactly that.  And hey, I was tired this morning!  All set to go to sleep!

So of course this is when my parents demand that they need me to come with them to the city because none of them can buy lightbulbs without assistance.  I'm not kidding.  They've bought like three sets of floodlights trying to get the right ones.  Still, if that's all it is, fine.  I can grab coffee too.  Let's go!

But no, they decide to do this not only on the one day that I want and need sleep the most, but also on the day that dad is on call for work, so we have to wait for them to call and say they don't need him.  Which doesn't happen until 11am.  Fuuuuck me.  It's 30 minutes to Rutland, 30 minutes back, and then dicking around in a store with my mother which takes forever on a good day.  This could not have been a worse series of circumstances.

So we get back around 1 PM, I kill a few minutes to unwind since I can't just head right to bed after running around, and hey!  Good news!  I actually get more or less right to sleep!

The bad news?  I had to get up four hours later, since I have stuff I need and want to do in the evenings, and don't want to sleep past certain points.  SO...  Here I am, after all that effort to get on track, get sleep, and stop the late night naps...and I'm tired, wanting exactly that, because everything conspired against me to not do today the way I wanted.  At least I have some caffeine on me, I've got a couple good, solid hours of sleep under my belt, and *maybe* I can make a second attempt tonight.

But damn I really want to get more sleep right now. =P

J
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