I've said that since I heard the title, and the truth is...well, it DIDN'T suck, per se.
However, it wasn't that great either.
When I go to see a movie in the theatres, that was once, or maybe currently is, a television show, I need a good reason to justify my ass being in that seat. There has to be a reason that this is on a big screen, instead of being watched for free in the comfort of my own home. I expect, nay demand, a certain level of spectacle, and you can have spectacle without sacrificing script. There's a bigger budget involved, you can, theoretically, do more.
Unless you're X-Files.
There was nothing I saw that couldn't have been done on tv.
Honestly, this week I also watched Stargate: Continuum, and that was way more deserving of the theatrical treatment than this, and that went straight to DVD.
It was an X-Files story. It had the same direction, actors, lines, level of action, etc. Even the music seemed weak. I'll get to one point there in particular later.
What I watched was a 90 minute X-Files episode. It was better than the worst episodes of the series, and better than most of the last year or two, but there's entire swaths of episodes that are better than this. Almost every season finale would have been better suited for the big screen than this. This was a small screen story, put on a big screen.
If you're a Mulder/Scully shipper, there's a lot to love here. They're together, they kiss, they're in bed, they mention their son...but that's not enough to build a movie on. The relationship is also suitable rocky, as it should be, considering everything they've been through. The character stuff was pretty decent.
Now, I'm gonna spoil what should've been a major event in the film, but apparently the film couldn't be bothered to give it the respect it was do.
Walter Skinner, the often awesome Mitch Pileggi, turns up during the film. His character is a total non-event in the movie. He turns up, and steps into frame, showing us the back of his head, after his name has been announced. And that's it. There wasn't even a musical cue for it, it just kinda...happens. And he serves no real purpose in the movie, aside from being there. A waste of character, and what should have been a big moment for fans, falls flat as he just kinda moseys on in. Maybe I'm expecting too much, but something like that should've been bigger.
Speaking of Skinner's back of the head introduction...this movie loves that shot.
EVERY main character is introduced that way. We first see them from behind, we hear their name, they stay there, FORCING themselves so artifically to not turn around until the absolute precise moment. Sure, it works for tension, and a cool reveal, but to go to the well so many times, in one film, is a mistake. It makes me wonder just how few ideas they had for this film, if they went that way so many times.
I'm not going to get into the overall plot, and let people who want to see the movie discover it on their own, but...I think they found something that may just have been a few hairs over being too weird, even for the X-Files. You expect weird from these guys, but this idea felt SO forced, and SO weird, that it almost throws you out of the movie, and strains credibility.
Yes, a plot idea in X-Files straining credibility. Even moreso than your usual X-Files faire. I wholly realise just what I'm saying there.
I did enjoy the little nodes. Mulder and his sunflower seeds, the pencils in the ceiling, the eponymous poster, Mulder's sister still being a motivational force, and just seeing Mulder, Scully, and Skinner again after so many years...
It just didn't quite come together for me.
Overall, I'd give it a 3 out of 5 psychics. Maybe 3.5. Like I said, better than the worst, but worse than the best. It truly defines average. And not worth a theatrical experience. I'd say 3.5 if you're a fan, and miss your old friends.