Caitlin Grey (foenix) wrote,
Caitlin Grey

Paying the Bills Theatre: Decoys 2 - Alien Seduction

Well, I recognised almost no names in the credits, so it looks like only "Saw" veterans Tobin Bell and Dina Meyer needed the cash this time out.

So, the general plot is alien invasion by way of looking like females to screw guys and have babies. And eat the mates. Maybe both. Anyways, expect a high body count.

This movie has several things that all top horror films require, lotsa boobs, and lotsa blood. I'm not condoning this, I'm poking fun. Males are the main audience for horror, to get girls to jump and snuggle, so these sorts of films are aimed squarely at teenaged males. Let's see how it goes from there.

The alien creatures look nice, at least in the first film they did. Good tentacly slimyness, and some nice effects for this sort of thing. Could be better, but it doesn't look too derivative, and manages to get the idea across well enough. More comments when they get past flashbacks.

So of course we start the film with some heavy poetting in a car, the stereotypical cop interrupting the fun, and a dead teen. Let the fun begin. =)

Now, this movie has Tobin Bell and Dina Meyer, the main reasons I'm watching and not for the boobs, and they're both good actors, so any scene they're in should be mostly watchable. But will it make the movie itself bearable as a whole?

I do like the added bit of the alien babes picking through their victims' minds to alter themselves to prey upon their desires to better boink them. And require cold for their deeds adds an added bit of difficulty, and has the possibility of having the aliens learn about love and taking their time...but that's probably nowhere near where they'd go with it, but there's an interesting philosophical tack they could take there.

*snerks* "Dr. Constance Snowden". She might as well call herself "Dr. Alienette McSpacebabe".

Urgh, male antics to get girls are always so painful to watch. Especially when they pull bull musk into it. Thankfully it backfires in an amusing way, but it always feels so done.

The alien girls are quite easy on the eyes, but Hollywood has never had trouble finding curvy blondes, have they? Their acting is above what one would expect from this sort of thing, although they're pretty bad at the sultry acting. That always felt like a tough thing to pull off well, anyways.

It's also a nice twist that they're NOT trying to kill the males. At least, not with the sex.

College kids with silly humour having a competition to get laid encountering aliens seeking sex. It would be nice if some of the alien hotties weren't blondes. Sure, that's the stereotype of the epitome of the American ideal of hot, but not everyone likes them! Of course, making all the aliens blonde, and the human girls not, does create a balance, and a bit of a 'white hat/black hat' dichotomy that works well enough. And I have no problem with assuming all blonde women are aliens. ;)

And I just used the word 'dichotomy' seriously in a stream of conciousness review of Decoys freakin' 2.

It's really American Pie meets Species, isn't it?

The funniest part? The blurs over sketches of the aliens naughty bits. Probably would've been better to just edit that out like they did with other chunks of the film. They could've shown some acceptable sketches and moved on. Instead, we get silly blurs over the film.

And the best weapon against the aliens has now been revealed. HOT COFFEE!! It's a shame they didn't get to use it.

"Never look them in the eyes!" You know, most women have the problem of men not looking them in the eyes, and with these aliens having rather ah...ample features, how do THEY manage it? ;)

Second best weapon! Hairspray blowtorches!

All in all, an ok film of this sort. It would've been better if it hadn't been built up from bits and pieces from other movies. But it told it's story. A frequent word to describe these films on SFC, and it is definitely appropriate here, is banal. But I don't feel like I've wasted 90 minutes too horribly, and it was moderately entertaining. Could've been lots better though. Decent little twist at the end, but again nothing new. And the kinda groovy 70s ish guitar music (I have no idea how to describe it) got on my nerves after awhile. It's like they borrowed a Tanrantino soundtrack and stapled it on their little film.

Three out of five Kung Fu Creatures on the Rampage. Just a smidge below average. It stays out of the lower depths of the ratings thanks to some decent eye candy, Bell, and Meyer.

Tags: paying the bills theatre

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